Everybody has a dark side.
My mother (May Allah grant her the highest place in Jannat, Ameen) made it a point to educate me about strangers and my rights, never treating me any different than my brothers. My dad raised me like a son and took pride in exposing me to a so called ‘manly’ environment of hunting, guns, cars, freedom of movement and choice as well as gave me correct advice to strengthen my character as a woman and never imposed cultural norms upon me.
Did that stop them from trying to wrongfully obtain their selfish desires? Did that for once strike a fear of God in their heart when they had their filthy eyes on a child of 9 years of age? Did that stop them from breaching the trust of the parents who left their daughter, hoping she would be safe under the eye of an old housekeeper? Did it stop them from making a girl run for her safety, to hide under the bed, waiting for her mother to come back home? Did it stop them from staring down a school girl 11 years of age, walking to her car after school ends? Did it stop boys in your friend circle from labelling you as a slut when you never much as once have had physical relationships? Did it for once second stop them from trying to enforce themselves onto you because rejection was a new term to them? Did it stop them? Did it stop them from shouting ‘hayee gulabo’ and snatching your dupatta while walking on the streets with family or friends?
Did it?
How many times has any of us been afraid to respond because it is someone we know or the fear of the consequences of speaking up? How many of us don’t even realise the damage that has been caused until it is too late? There must be numerous times we are afraid to respond to those vicious gazes or obscene comments. I let it go out of fear too but then it had to stop. We all have a voice, then why silence it?
After losing my mother as a young teenager, it was hell surviving in this cruel world. The typical answer people have is ‘get her married off bin maa bachi hai haath se nikla jaegi’. I found that voice to defend myself allowing labels like spoilt (bigri wi), beghairat, mun phatt (vocally bold) for pointing out the right thing and not standing by dumb norms. Instead of being one of them, allowing myself to be oppressed and live like a zombie I tried to break free and speak for what believe in. With a supportive family,, I slowly and gradually am trying to make a place just like the rest of us in this world for us, without being harassed at every step. extreme retaliation is essential and shows you are not here to sit quietly and allow them to do what they intend to.
Whether it’s honking at weird men trying to look inside your car or even young adults at public places whether you walk into a park for an evening stroll or decide to step out for grab a quick bite. Sadly we live in a world where it is considered abnormal for a woman to be functioning like a ”man” be it driving, walking on a street or wearing Western attire. Many women and girls are victims of rude stares and constant harassment from idle men who make it a point to scan someone similar to conducting and X-Ray or follow cars trying to intimidate female drivers.
Harassment can not only be physical but visual/verbal and mental and it is not due to the lack of not responding but of the way men perceive women, their constricted brain capacity and illiteracy. They still believe that we will let it go and press that ‘Ignore’ button. Harassment is not just from strangers, it can come from those who are close to you. A family member, an old friend, your significant others constantly torturing you to fit his criteria or an employee in your home or workplace. Educate the boys, teach then respect, let them know we are not objects or toys that you can mishandle when you please!
If all the women who have been harassed or assaulted wrote “Me too” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.
#ViolenceAgainstWomen #MeToo #Educate #Respect
