By: Tehreem Nadeem
In the past few years, we have only seen a drastic increase in rape culture. Why, and how and what rape culture means, we will see and discuss in this article. To get a clear cut definition of what rape culture is, we simply went up to Google and simply clicked on the search icon, and here is what it had to say,
Rape culture is a sociological concept for a setting in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality.
Here is another way to define it, rape culture is the culture that involves the objectifying, sexualizing, cat calling, slut shaming, bullying and harassing of any gender, male or female, even non-binary. This has been around for ages now, and even though people are becoming more woke about this issue, the numbers that we see are still not decreasing, never mind coming to an end.
The issue goes back to centuries, where men had only viewed women as objects for sex, and to ridicule and use at their own advantage. This has been going on for years and years, where women just had to sit right with the image that had been set by male figures from either the make-up industry, film industry, or something as disgusting and ridiculous as porn industry. They had set the standard of what and how a woman should look like and behave, which only made the matters worse for women, not that women did not already suffer from an inferior position in the society. These industries laid out a set of rules by which a woman should live and stand by, ridiculous requirements such as shaven body at all times, completely waxed, eyebrows plucked, skinny, tiny waist, bigger breasts, Barbie like face, long hair, sexually attractive, and what not. These industries like porn and makeup have made millions and millions of dollars off this image they have set of women, which has only increased the insecurities of women, and have made the male become only more and more dominant in the society, making it harder for women to even survive.
The rape culture starts at a very early stage, especially with boys where in schools they start sexualizing their classmates, the locker room talks, the bad mouthing, slut shaming, porn, and cat calling becomes the new normal for them. They are told that they aren’t “manly” enough if they have not slept with a girl, or have misbehaved or have gotten ‘laid’ with one. And, this is the mindset that stays with them for the rest of their lives that is how they grow into becoming predators, rapists, assaulters, and what not. This is how early the rape culture sets in, in any society.
If we talk about girls of the similar age, they are told to stay clear of the boys, to not go anywhere alone, to not wear certain types of clothes, to not trust or be with any boy alone, to always have a pepper spray or something of that sort at all times, to not go to parties, not drink too much, not talk to a lot of boys, not give their phone numbers to anyone, to not come home late, or walk or drive late at night. To shorten this down, women are told to stay at home, in a cage at all times, and be as some men call it ‘polite’ at all times. This grows to a very dangerous level, while for girls it creates anxiety in their minds and bodies, depression, stress and what not, for boys, it does the quite opposite, they start viewing themselves as some dominant creatures who are to be given whatever they want of a woman, without asking for her consent.
The rape culture certainly did not start with the awful act of raping someone itself; rather, it had started small. It had started small, it started when you told your little son that he was not manly enough because he did not have a girlfriend, it started when you told your daughter that she cannot wear a short skirt, it started when your friend called your friend hot but you did not stop him or call him out, it was when you were cat called or slut shamed and you said nothing because you were too scared to do anything, it started when your school asked you to wear certain type of clothing so it would not distract the boys, instead of asking your male students to behave, it started when a teacher had brushed his hand on a little girl’s thigh and the school management did nothing about it, it started when a guy got bullied for being gay, or had gotten harassed by his classmates and nobody believed in, it started with a random guy kissing a girl who got too drunk, without her consent, while everybody watched but said nothing at all, and it all ended with increasing the rape culture and rape itself, and yet the rapists roam around freely.
So, when someone says it’s not the clothing, not the person, not the way on talks, not how drunk he or she is, not the hair, not the body, but the other persons intensions and the actions which cause this culture to spread only more, believe them. When your dad tells you to man up, or he dares to abuse your mother in front of you, call him out, when a friend calls your sister hot, call him out, when your friend tells you that you are gay for not raping your girlfriend, call him out, when a person abuses someone in front of you, try to stop them, when someone tells you that they have raped someone, or harassed, call the police. Do not let this go, because if you do, you are a culprit too. You are the wrong in the society; you are as much of a culprit as the person who has committed the actual crime.
If we dare to talk in numbers, in Pakistan alone, 73 incidents of rape have been reported in the past year, and many others have gone unreported. Pakistan, being the “Islamic Republic” has thousands of people preaching and talking about religion but enough people to train their sons, husbands, friends to literally just not put their hands on women without their consent. Instead, what these people do is, they victim blame, they find out manipulative ways to make the act of rape seem right, by saying things such as her clothes were too short, why was she along, why was she out at night, and the list keeps growing and growing. Nobody points out the obvious; nobody talks of punishing the rapist. Even the police of Pakistan, is least concerned with the security they provide. They would rather just stay in their comfortable offices and victim blame to get things off their counters. According to these people in authority and our mullahs, our women should only stay inside their houses at all times. Even then, even if the women do stay within the houses, the rape culture and the act does not stop there. Its then the own family members who go on doing this cruel act, their own husbands, uncles etc, the act of rape.
What we have failed to understand as humans is the very fact that, it does not matter what gender we might belong to, we do not have the right to touch someone, or to say things to people on their sexuality. Nobody should be viewed as sexual objects, be it a man or a woman, nobody has the right to anyone’s body. That no means no, and that consent is important in any situation.
We need to stop with the rape culture, stop victim blaming and cat calling, and letting the people we know who are predators roam the street freely to maintain good relationships. We need to stop contributing to the rape culture, or else the next time the news comes in, it might be our mothers, our sisters, our friends, cousins, aunts etc. We will be repeating their stories over and over and nothing would go unchanged.
