Possessiveness in a relationship is the deep need to hold on to a person for himself or herself only. When you do not want your partner to spend time with anyone else or even pursue interests outside the relationship, when you want all of someones attention and love. First, there is that awful feeling of being down on yourself. It is difficult to feel good about yourself while in the throes of jealousy or possessiveness. There is something so mean and petty about those emotions. They seem much more damaging to self-esteem than their parent emotion, insecurity. When you love yourself, you feel fulfilled and complete and choose to love another. There is no force there. It is a willingness to give your time to another. It is a choice you make. The person is in a relationship not because he or she feels incomplete without it or feels it is his or her duty to fulfill the bond, but because he or she chooses to be in it. The person you love doesn’t have to be on your radar all the time. Your love doesn’t depend on how often you are in touch with each other. You don’t have to know everything about the person’s day to day activities and feel offended if you are not up to date on it. You just love the person for who they are.
