From birth, we have been socialized to believe that our lives have no meaning or purpose until we share it with a romantic partner. And honestly it really messes us up, subconsciously urging us to mold ourselves into the kind of girls who dream of finding their “one true love.”
Back then, being a wife is what defined a woman and getting married was typically the end goal, so I can understand why finding your special someone was considered an accomplishment.
The word most commonly associated with marriage, especially for women, is ‘compromise’. What we seem to have forgotten is that marriage is humanity’s way of appreciating the beauty of mutual interdependence. It is our way of appreciating the beauty of another human being the same way we would our own. Someone who is not only worthy of your time, but worthy of your trust too.
Oftentimes, we look for everything in one person—lover, best friend, protector, etc. And expect that person; to provide emotional, sexual, intellectual and even financial fulfillment. This is misguided because despite what centuries of conditioning, with the help of film industry, have done to our hearts and minds, no one can be our everything. It’s unrealistic and impossible.
That’s not to say there is no accomplishment related to being married, It is absolutely a huge event, and it’s so very exciting to find your “other half.” However, the ring is no longer what defines a woman.
In today’s society, ladies are balancing much more than just finding a man. Women are entrepreneurs, lawyers, teachers, CEOs, writers, consultants and so much more. Women are endlessly working to climb up the corporate ladder. Women are changing the world with their innovation.
And while many of these women are married, they are definitely not solely defined by their last name.
In simple words, it’s time for society as a whole to re-evaluate what aspect of women’s lives we put the most value on.
