Aur jese jese shaadi ka season barhta jaraha hai, the time for celebrations and family gatherings with much halla gulla is on point. Lekin woh kuch pal har shaadi me jo ap chah ke bhi ignore na kr paye….the “yeh toh hona hi tha” moments, which we wish never really happen. But esa possibel hota toh kiya hi baat hoti, toh yeh hai woh 10 hateful moments that we surely go through every wedding in a Pakistani khaadan:
1. Jab mehmaan ajain ghar and you have to live outside of your own home
Maan lo, yeh toh phir har insaan ki feeling hai. Admit it! Yahan mehmaan atay ruknay for the shaadi and there you go out, apnay hi room aur ghar se bahir. Kyun? Kun ke mehmaano ko achi se achi services deni hai so that no one leaves upset, but that too itself is IMPOSSIBLE!
2. Aur phir woh nashukray log, kabhi jo tareef kar jayen!
Har Pakistani khandaan me woh chand nashukray log zaroor hotay jo majaal hai ke kisi cheez ko appreciate krdein ya phir kahin kisi ki tareef krdein. Ab khud kuch karna parega I guess, matlab agar khush hi nahi toh phir ghar chale jao yar. Kyun ke hum khud jitna bhi krle unkay liye, at the end of the day they will whine at all cost!
3. Shaadi me ho na koi maslay, esa kabhi mumkin hua hai?
Pakistan ki history me esa kabhi nahi hua hoga ke ghar me shaadi ki tyariyan urroj pe hon aur koi fisaad na ho. Ek dusray ki baat maan lena, ke jese koi jurm ban jata hai. I mean esa nahi hoga toh kesa hoga yr, phir woi baat ke “yeh toh hona hi tha!” Desi weddings ke shashkay jitnay, utnay hi zada side effects, book likhi jaye toh khatam na ho. But honestly guys, I mean come on guys, we’re here to celebrate, are we not?
4. Zabardasti ki acting of how happy you are for their presence!
Aur phir anay walay wo sab mehmaan jinse aap zindagi me kabhi na milay ho….has ke milna, galay lag ke milna, haar phool phenana, I mean is there any end to it? If you’re not here to mingle, then you are not allowed, kyun ke it’s a desi wedding and yahan toh yeh sab hota hai. Fake it up and run it like a queen…..and be prepared to be quizzed like hell.
5. Aur woh na qabil-e-bardasht sawalaat!
“Beta Shaadi kab kar rahi ho? Kia parh rahi ho? Kahan job kar rahi ho?” Agar apne in sab sawalon ka jawab diya hua hai toh ap baakhubi jantein hongay desi shaadion ka asal rang aur roop. The unbeatable count of numbers aur bolne wala mun ke jese chup hi na janta ho….yeh sawal toh har generation ki larki/aunty janti bhi hungi ur is sab se guzar bhi chuki hungi.
6. Must have Rishta Aunties!
Shaadi mein rishta aunties na ho….yeh toh shaadi ki be-hurmati hogyi ho jese. Ab chahe wo mohalay ki rishta aunty ho ya Careem ki, apparently phonch zaroor jaati hain. But koi manay ya na manay, hoti bari hi khuafnaak hain, na janay kab kisi zindagi me bomb phenk dein kisi ko pata hi nahi.
7. Photo session aur video k liye acting ka bharpur muzahira!
Jese hi camera samne ata, chahe photo ke liye ya video, faces esay ban jatay k ya toh be-panah hasi ya be-panah rona araha ho jese. Moqa khanay ka ho ya rukhsati ka, humare cameramen bhi koi moment nahi chortay capture karne ka. Phir woh beech hall me dulha dulhan ka open bollywood inspired photo session, I mean ab yeh toh sab hona hi hai….toh kyun na ab aadat bana lein?
8. Shaadi ho aur late night na chalay….IMPOSSIBLE!
Pakistani shaadi aur late night na ho, NAMUMKIN! Shaadi ka time hi rat 10 baje se shuru aur phir kab khatam, siwaye dhula aur dhulan ke kisi ko parwa nahi. There’s no doubt that door se anay walo rishtedaron ke liye thora boht masla hojata hai….but ab hum bhi karein toh kiya?
9. The #Food4Life awaam
Kon bhul sakta hain un bhukay nangon ko jo atay hi shaadi me sirf apna pait bharnay! But then again, shaadi ho aur khanay ki talab na barhay ab yeh bhi mumkin nahi, kyun 😛 In fact, agar apni hi kuch calculations ki jaye aur figures ka andaza nikala jaye toh at least 85% awaam shaadi hall me ati hi sirf khana khanay hai….the #food4life crowd. Aur phir plates esay bhar bhar ke leke jatay k na isay phele kabhi khana mila ho, aur na hi iske bad dubara milega!
10. Aur wo akhir mein joota chupayi ki rasm…
Sochne ki baat hai, joota chupanay ki rasm akhir nikli kahan se? Dhulay ke jootay chupa ke, wo bhi shadi ke akhir mein….kyun? But anyway, ab jo trend ban gaya so ban gaya and dhulay bhai ko pese nikalne parengay chahe acha lagay ya bura. Definitely unbearable for the one who has to pay for apparently no reason whatsoever!
