We grew up learning how our behaviours are shaped by external validation. When we were young we would do things to gain approval of our parents. This way our behaviour is shaped and we learn what is acceptable and what is not. But once we enter adulthood we should know how to stand on our own feet and how external validation should not be needed all the time. Relying on external validation in an unhealthy way is when we cannot project our opinion which is different compared to what others say. Or when we shape our life goals according to people’s approval.
To have a healthy behaviour and to have an identity of your own one should practise self validation. First step is to know yourself; what makes you happy, what you want to do in your life, what are your values and what are your goals. And then validate your actions logically. Stop pleasing people at the cost of your own happiness. Surround yourself with people who are kind to you and who respect your boundaries. It is very important to have nice people around you as they help you grow.
Now a days social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook has shaped youngsters minds in ways that they look for perfection in everything. Everything shared on social media is fake and we crave for likes and seek for people’s approvals. So it is very important to accept the reality and realise that everything shared over social media is not true and everyone is beautiful in their own ways. No one needs to seek external validation to be happy.
