People who have never been abused often wonder why a person wouldn’t just leave an abusive relationship. They don’t understand that breaking up can be more complicated than it seems.
The question that is always asked of victims of domestic abuse is “Why don’t/didn’t you just leave?” I know sometimes even victims don’t really understand why. Here are the most commonly told reasons that why are girls still in a relationship with this type of a guy:
1) Believing Abuse is Normal: If your friend doesn’t know what a healthy relationship looks like, perhaps from growing up in an environment where abuse was common, they may not recognize that their relationship is unhealthy.
2) The Channeling of Guilt: The victim does not know what they have done wrong, they just know they are wrong. They begin to feel guilty for who they are and about the beliefs they’ve held. This creates a blank slate so the abuser can attach the guilt to whatever belief system the abuser is trying to replace. The victim comes to believe it is their belief system that is causing all of the problems; the more they accept the abuser’s way of thinking, the more shame they feel about who they were. Essentially, this is when the victim begins to adopt the new way of thinking and relinquishes their old way of thinking.
3) It’s very hard to stick to your decision to break up:You can try to end the relationship many times but sticking to that decision is the real obstacle. One seems to fall back several times not only because the abuser comes crawling back with empty promises and excuses but also because suddenly, being alone seems worse. The only thing that is important here is patience: Only with time can one heal.
4) You believe things will be better one day: You are certain the two of you will sort things out together. Sadly, this is almost never the case.
5) You Don’t want to lose the person no matter what: You are so emotionally attached to the person that you can’t even think of saying good bye. You can afford to get abused but not to finish the relationship.
But people it’s high time to realize that these type of relationships would never do justice to you. You will always be abused for the rest of your life, better to take the decision now and think about your future life before it’s too late. You should know your importance and should make the other person feel that you can live without them!
